Has anybody seen my sweet petunia @Solanaceae P.? I thought we had a thing going. Spending time in the planters in the commons, getting doused occasionally by delicious nectar delivered by students out of cans. Maybe I did get a little bit too "into it," hanging out near the Spoonbender first thing in the morning, looking for a fix. Maybe that's what drove us apart.

But without it, my slender roots would have never grown into the strapping legs you see before you today, and my delicate leaves would have never grown into these guns with their massive biceps.

I'm the baddest geranium I ever was, but now I'm clean -- nothing but mountain springwater for me nowadays. Electrolyte infused. Plus B vitamins and potassium and selenium. Omega-3 Fatty Acids. Some taurine and ginseng. Just a little caffeine. Ok mountain springwater flavored seltzer. With lime. And Guava. And only cane sugar, not that fake stuff.

Where is my little petunia?! I'm comin' for ya!